Excerpts from Tim Keller’s “The Meaning of Marriage”

The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of GodThe Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God by Timothy J. Keller

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This post is simply for me to reference these quotations, which Keller communicates well things I am wholeheartedly affirm, and instead of typing them down on Zotero or LibreOffice or Google Docs, I can quickly reference them via this blog.

Also, I believe this book can be especially helpful for those who do not understand why marriage can be a legitimate pursuit or who are at best ambivalent about the (potential) goodness of marriage. It is also potentially most helpful for those who are engaged and/or married and want a resource to help in seasons of disillusionment.

But when the Bible speaks of love, it measures it primarily not by how much you want to receive but how much you are willing to give yourself to someone. … In so many cases, when one person says to another, “I love you, but let’s not ruin it by getting married,” that person really means “I don’t love you enough to close off all my options. I don’t love you enough to give myself to you that thoroughly.” To say, “I don’t need a piece of paper to love you” is basically to say, “My love for you has not reached the marriage level.” (78)


The only way for you be truly free is to link your feeling to an obligation. Only if you commit yourself to loving in action, day in and day out, even when feelings and circumstances are in flux, can you truly be a free individual and not a pawn of outside forces. Also, only if you maintain you’re love for someone when it is not thrilling can you be said to be actually loving a person. The aesthete does not really love the person; he or she loves the feelings, thrills, ego rush, and experiences that the other person brings. The proof of that is that when those things are gone, the aesthete has no binding care or concern for the other. (97)

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